Cheating Has Monumental Consequences

For those who have never had an affair while married, the following words of advice may seem meaningless. An affair is something that often just happens, rather than being planned. A wife may find herself being courted by a co-worker; a husband may have the salesclerk at his grocery store flirting with him.

Regardless of how it starts, an affair is something that can ruin a marriage because it stretches the trust between a couple like a rubber band until it becomes brittle and snaps. Once having cheated on one's spouse, there is a wound that threatens to be re-infected every time the unfaithful spouse looks at another attractive person. Affairs more often break a couple apart than any other situation.

There are actually more reasons to end an affair once it has begun than there are reasons to continue to cheat on one's spouse. The most urgent and necessary reason is the involvement of the couple's children. Children are not to be considered lightly and once the commitment to raise children has been made, the couple is bound by this agreement to make the interests of their children their first and foremost concern.

Children are hurt by the infidelities of their parents. They learn to distrust their own safety in relationships, as well as losing their faith in their parent's protection of them. Why wouldn't a father who cheats on their mother cheat his children just as easily? Couldn't a mother who cheats on her husband forget the importance of her own children?

This is more important than even ones own self-respect, which can be damaged irreparably by self-loathing. We are creatures of conviction and honesty is often ones highest ideal. Finding the courage to end an affair can give one the promise of being able to repair the damage that has been done to ones own sense of duty and self-regard.

Is there anyone among us who feels that breaking a promise is worthy of congratulations and, therefore, can be open and unconcerned about their infidelity once it occurs? The respect of friends and family is far too important to open the possibility of losing the entire foundation of ones life. Ending an affair and repairing our marriage can give us a sense of courage that allows us to meet other's eyes.

It is important to remember that the act of choosing and marrying another person is reflective of the love that we share with each other. That love does not disappear just because we have stepped into a mire of deceitful actions. That person we cherished before we began the affair is still the person we loved enough to share our life with.

Marriage can be saved from the infidelity that we commit when we stray from our loved one's side. Re-commitment and a devoted interest in making the marriage work in sickness and in health can mend the damage of misplaced trust. Isn't it worth the effort?